FUCK

Eve is Drunk

...and she just made her blog invite only because someone she is on the outs with checks her blog obsessively and she's had enough.

... and the left side of her face is a little numb...

To quote a topless three-nippled fortune teller

"Understanding is reached only after confrontation."

I just can't dance around in my underpants anymore to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs to avoid doing dishes.

They absolutely HAVE TO get washed.

And that just sucks, my friend.

My mother has informed me that she is well versed in all movies where Mel Gibson's bare ass is featured.

I feel so tragic today.

All day long I just wanted to flop around and sigh heavily like a jilted teenager who didn't get their allowance because they were an asshole to their dad.

Good thing I had that cute Japanese lady's cover letter to make me smile.

May the 4th be with you.

Best cover letter ever

Maneger,

I put my cover letter into this envelope. You check it. Thank you for your time.

Good day today...

I saw like 40 deer,

pet a puppy,

gobbled at a 6 turkey pile up in the road,

played with a horsey named Rex,

played with a pot-bellied pig and talked to him like Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura,

and

I'm a little bit drunk.

On the cover of the May issue of Bizarre Magazine

Siamese Mice

"It's good but it's not right."

A lighting fixture falling from the ceiling bonked me in the temple this morning and now I have a headache, a numb face and the possibility of unreasonable crying is imminent. My powers of comprehension are also compromised. This was evident in a phone conversation I had with the bank this afternoon. She was trying to explain some shit to me about my credit card involving daily averages and math. I kept telling her I'm not understanding any of it. She continued to re-explain it to me 5 times, each time using the same words and I kept not getting it. I hear the words dude, but I don't understand their meaning. Repeating the same explanation over and over has no effect on me but annoyance.

Maybe she has a head injury too.

The desire to point out the stupidity of others is strong.

But I refrain....

Good quote

Buffy: Hey Ken, want to see my impersonation of Gandhi?
[beats demon to death with a club]
Lily: Gandhi?
Buffy: Yeah, he was really pissed-off.

---

I'm starting to think I have some real anger issues. Most times I'm left alone for too long I start to steam. And too long isn't really all that long, like an hour. Maybe today's just especially bad and it just seems like most of the time but I'm pissed off.

Fortunately or unfortunately my anger just comes out as a bad mood and a complete lack of motivation. I'm going to try some art therapy. If that doesn't work, I just might have to turn to the drink. If you're pissed then get pissed.

I AM SO TIRED.

If I can finish the dishes before an album plays out, then I have accomplished something grand.

I'd give myself a high-five but then I'd just be clapping.

Ah, Spring Cleaning

Down came the rain and cleansed the puke spattered sidewalks of Winnipeg proper.

Best Thing I Heard All Day

Marla's handwriting looks like she's being abducted.

The New Sick Day

I tried to convince my boss today that we should implement an inspiration day. The electricity in the air today was in a way that I could sense the mood of my main character for my comic. For hours I was writing diary entries for her in my head.

If I could have just said "I'm inspired, gotta go," and just walked out the door, I would be in fat city right now.

A Good She-Hulk I Would Not Make

Last night someone said something to me that got my rage a boiling. It took a good hour of stewing in it before my rage burgled to a point that I just had to leave as I was no longer good company.

But when it comes right down to it, I know how lucky I really am so my rage is subsiding and I will go on.

Lucky Man by The Verve is such a great song. I think more people should listen to it and really contemplate the point he's making. We'd all be better off.

There's a certain kind of crazy that I just really appreciate. It's female, it's fiery and I know two people who embody it in such a lovely way. It's like a fun loving deliciously evil sort of vibe without being totally sadistic. It's the big fuck you to everyone and if you mess with me you will not see me falter but you will wonder where those stabbing pains in your side are coming from and why is there a chunk of your hair missing?

I work with one of these vessels of wrath and I am frequently amused. She once told me she has a sister she'd like to drown and I've enjoyed many a diatribe on who really deserves to live. Not everyone, apparently.

The other day we were talking about self defence. She feels she does not require any training because she has enough pent up rage to destroy any man who dares attack. Then to illustrate her point, she crouches down, slouches her shoulders forward with her arms flexed in a Bruce Banner 'I'm trying to control my rage' pose and affects a garbly growl while shaking with mock rage and says, "This is all I need to EXPLODE!!" Then she would take some time to point and laugh at the man-burger she created all over the floor. Awesome.

My quiet rage is burgling.

Not impressed.

I don't know what it is about a guy in a mascot suit, but everytime I see one I want to see if I can punch him hard enough to make his head spin around.

Gone now.

ahhhhh

Introspective mockery
designed by hypocrisy,
favouring mental fallacy
intent on reality.

FUCK YOU, emo day.

It doesn't want to stop.

Write into your mind,
cryptic by design.
Pour it out
and rip it up,
crumble in the grind.

Take it out
and piece it in.
They don't all fit together.
Lash it down,
slipknot for uncertainty

Write your own mythology.

Nostalgia

What a thing to fear.
Endings and beginnings
forgotten with memories.

I hold nothing in my hand
yet everything in my heart.

I have much to process and it's coming out as woe.

Bouts of staring into space distract from productivity.

A bathroom needs cleaning but there's some space I have yet to zone in on.

Turn it inside out and view it upside down.
It's still slathered and saturated.
It's still grief.
But it's not the other.
It's not what we wish to have none of.

Transforming into water
and pouring over stone.
Flowing into fire
and breathing in the ash.

Expelling all the sorrow
and foraging for hope.

Pandora was a mere mortal.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

It's still the day if yer still drinkin'.

I am blotto.

I took a self defense course last night. You know what I learned?

Poke eye.

I am friggin loving the new cd's I bought last week!

I love how Wolfmother sounds like Ozzy Osbourne and Robert Plant are sharing a set of vocal chords.

The Raconteurs are giving so much love to the greats of the past. Broken Soldier Boy is so early Pink Floyd and Blue Veins rocks the Zeppelinesque blues.

And the Yeah Yeah Yeahs are just plain rad.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, I love getting back into new music.

Wolfmother

There is love there.

From me.

I have determined that I never ever need to mop my floor. Between all the kitty barfed hair balls and the constant spilling of alcohol by insatiable drunks, the floor gets mopped in small sections daily.

Today I visited a tobacconist with a co-worker. After standing around the fancy shmancy shoppe having a lively conversation with the aficionado about the tarry goodness of one silent killer, we stepped outside to smoke wine tipped Djarums and say things like "top drawer" and "hmmmm, yes, shallow and pedantic".

I have my own fun.

I am almost sure that there are finer things in life but I am quite content right now with my red wine accented with a marmite on toast snack.

Add on some Bowie and I am sublime.

I think I just might be the girl with the most cake.

I've checked the stats...

I always have a better day when I can see down my own top.

"Keep that up and I'll put my foot up your nose again, only this time, I won't take off my shoe."

Yes, I had my foot up an 8 year old's nose.

Yes, I threatened to put it pack.

Don't fuck with the babysitter.

Star-spangled panties in a knot

That's it, it's over. No Wonder Woman for me. Joss Whedon has dropped off the project because he wanted to make a good movie and they want to make a shitty Catwoman-esque disaster, vomit-on-screen gong show.

They may not have said as much, but it'll happen.

Do you know what it's like to have a crush on someone's handwriting?

Mmmmm....I do.

The Cell of Space That Holds Me

I could pour out all over the floor, melting with bittersweet grief. But I remain together, held by blood and guts and anatomy.

Rather than spend the evening as I had planned, listening to John Fruciante, smearing paint and lamenting and reflecting, I'm going to gulp mohitos.

Woe.

Awesome Mom sayings

A friend from work and I had a chat about sayings our Mom's used to or still use. Her Mom is the champ with this little number:

Blood & gore all over the floor & me without a spoon.

That saying may definitely come in handy some time very soon. Or maybe even yesterday.

The boy half of the best friend break-up and myself have been on a 6 day drinking binge with little sleep.

I must refrain tonight. Maybe I'll go directly to sleep when I get home from work. But that may not work as I'll have to drink much coffee to stay awake while at work.

Must slow down...

Two of my best friends broke up with each other last night and I'm having some trouble processing this information. To quell my imploding scramble of fears and what-nows, I drank heavily and ate much chocolate last night. The resulting hangover left me too weak to ponder the future or worry about one or both of them not living down the hall from me anymore.

Now I'm going to go throw stuff at other stuff. I'm going bowling.

Hot nerds and hot shoes

A hot nerd geek-talked to me today about comics. I could tell that he did not want to vacate my presence on account of him standing there looking at me well after I helped him find what he needed. I eventually had to shake him with a few subtle gestures and phrases since others were waiting for my help. This is the very reason I stopped shaving my legs a few months back. I will not be tempted by your Neil Gaiman knowledge, you library working hottie.

In other news, I have purchased these kick ass heels to begin my elevated life.

Should I fail at my attempts to walk at this great height, I can at least wear them to my funeral.

Sassy.

If you had a face I'd spit in it.

TD Bank sucks balls.

I can't do my laundry because TD Bank will not exchange a $10 bill for a roll of quarters to someone who does not hold an account with them.

I'd pelt them with dirty panties but it's cheaper to just sit around and glare.

I can see you will have much success.

"I was wondering if you could help me find a book. I need a book on how to write a book because I want to write a book but I don't know how to write a book."