Yes, yes, get over it, Eve.

My move to Winnipeg is fast approaching but closer still is the 10 year reunion I planned with 12 of my old friends. Canada Day 2006 I will be waiting in my hometown park to see how many of my old high school friends and drug buddies will show for the festivities. I'm certain there will be at least three of us but I am most interested to see if my old best friend, Audrey will be there. She's the one who cut herself off from all of us about 7 years ago. Two years ago she moved back to our hometown so I'm hoping she'll turn up. I've heard she's married now and I hope she will make the time to join us for a whole evening of fun rather than just a hello in the park.

I've even been having paranoid dreams about going back. I think it's more related to my move though. My dreams are basically displaying my fears of not fitting in with the people who were once so close to me that I consider them family. In one dream I arrived at a party with the regular crew to find everyone talking about Gord's upcoming wedding. Everyone but me was a part of the wedding party and they had neglected to even tell me or invite me. Needless to say I woke up bothered and quickly fell into a lucid dreamstate where Audrey was talking to me as though she had never known me at all.

It doesn't help either that my ex-boyfriend from three years back befriended many of these people and has become one of their best friends since we broke-up. Yeah, he's got a right to be friends with whomever but it still bothers me when I see all the photos of him doing all the things I would like to be doing with them. He knows them better than I do now. It's poo and I don't like it. I'm sure I'll get over it soon enough. We haven't seen each other since the break-up so we haven't had the time to become friends again. Hopefully I can get over it quickly enough that I don't make an ass of myself.

But an ass I am so an ass I'll probably be.