I almost fell off the wagon last night. I had to convince myself that if I smoked I would waste my whole high thinking about what a weak loser I am. Which I would have cause that's how I think when I'm high alone. I think about how much time I waste being high because I never get anything done when I'm high. But if I just stopped thinking about how useless I am then maybe I wouldn't be useless. Oh, it's useless. I'll just keep quitting for now. Except for Saturday. I'm jumping off the wagon on Saturday.That's right, I've been invited to a party. Woooooowhoooooooo! I can smoke at a party. I'll be too busy talking my face off to let my paranoid thoughts creep in. Plus, how can I be wasting my time at a party? I won't be. So it's all good. I should lay down some ground rules. Like no smoking unless I'm being social. But if I really really want to smoke alone then it has to be on a weekend and after dark. That should be good. Then I won't be smoking too much so when I do, I won't feel guilty about the time suckage. But with the exception of Saturday, I have to stay on the wagon till Dec 9th. Ground rules come into effect after that.
2 comments:
Why, hello there. Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. A couple of things: 1. I love the way you write. 2. I LOVE that you had a picture of Wayne Campbell and mentioned the "mono-bored" thing. 3. I completely know how it feels to be living in a new city and not know a soul and to feel unmotivated to attempt to meet anyone because what's the point anyway, 5. basically this entire entry of yours is like reading my mind. 6. we both have like totally awesome boyfriends and stuff. So there. I'll keep reading.
oooooohhh, compliments! Thank you kindly. I will continue to enjoy your blog too.
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